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When Thomas Doubted

by Ashley McMillian

Just a reminder that when Thomas doubted Christ’s existence, Jesus showed up and let him put his finger right into His wounds.

     This was after showing up in front of his other disciples and using his wounds as proof that He is who He says He is.

     I was reading this peculiar grouping of words in John this morning and it has me full of wonder…Do any of us consider the way Jesus showed Himself-the way He opted to keep His wounds when He had full power to heal them, to rise up from His grave markless-when we approach the doubting and aching souls breathing beside us?

     The way He announced himself as Peace, holding pierced hands out for them to see, because He knew His appearance would be shocking, that the unbelief would be palpable, even to those who had great faith He would rise. The wounds He let the doubting touch. The scars He kept.

     The people around you are holding their breaths right now, anticipating the loss that is to come so fiercely that fear has turned to worry. When you show up into their lives, in person or in print, you are showing them something of who you are. If you belong to Jesus, you are showing them who you believe Him to be.

     Christ does not call us to walk wound-less. He does not ask us to act like we have no doubts. He tells us to hold out our battered frames and proclaim that, even in the sufferings and sorrows, we believe God is who He has shown Himself to be. When in our weakness we ask, “Are you there? Are you real? How long, O Lord?”. He lets us put our trembling fingers into His wounded hands of healing, then reminds us to keep believing, even when our “even if” becomes our actuality.

     Doubt is to Faith what Darkness is to Light, what Despair is to Hope, what Wounding is to Healing, what Death is to Life: the one contrasting the other, the need making the way for the fulfillment of it.


Ashley McMillan is the granddaughter of A. J. Istre, retired Church of Christ minister.  Her husband, Jesse, has been battling Brain Cancer for over 4 years.  He is a former minister.  They await the calling of God to take Jesse home.

One Response to “When Thomas Doubted”

  1. A. j. Istre says:

    I love her dearly. Her husband is a prince in my eyes.

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That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10