Found on www.bobrussell.org
It’s amazing how often Jesus stopped to respond to the needs of others. He made time for a blind beggar calling out from the roadside, welcomed mothers who wanted Him to bless their children, engaged in a late-night conversation with a searching Pharisee, and answered impromptu questions from the crowds. Jesus came not to be served but to serve, and even when interrupted, He often said ‘yes’ to those in need.
But Jesus was not a people-pleaser. He didn’t say “yes” to everything. He didn’t allow others to exploit Him or manipulate Him. In Mark 1:35-38, we see this clearly:
“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: ‘Everyone is looking for you!’ Jesus replied, ‘Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.’”
Even though people were clamoring for Him, Jesus didn’t let their demands dictate His purpose. He prioritized His Father’s will over the immediate needs of the crowd.
While Christians are called to serve, we must be able to say no when necessary. There’s an old adage: “If uncontrolled, work flows to the competent person until he submerges.” Many hard workers have found that oftentimes their reward for a job well-done is more work! If you perform a task efficiently, over time, more and more people will turn to you, and before you know it, your priorities are completely out of alignment. Family time suffers. Personal devotions get rushed or neglected. Exercise routines disappear. Stress levels soar.
Jesus warned against valuing human approval over faithfulness to God:
“For they loved human praise more than praise from God” (John 12:43).
I confess—I’m a people-pleaser. Years ago, my inability to say no resulted in one of the worst mistakes of my ministry. I forgot a wedding.
I had plenty of excuses. My schedule was packed. My ministry was growing. But none of that mattered to the devastated couple waiting at the altar. I had let them down. That year, I had performed 32 weddings—a clear sign that I was stretched far too thin.
I felt awful and even thought, “You don’t belong in ministry. You can’t even administrate your own schedule without messing it up! You need to resign!”
I realized I needed to make a drastic change. On Monday morning, I walked into my office, dropped my planning calendar in front of my assistant, and said, “I am out of control. I want you to take over my schedule.”
She took charge immediately. “For starters, you’re meeting with too many people. Let’s reduce your time slots. And next year, let’s limit you to 15 weddings—your associates can handle the rest.” She selected a small committee to determine which speaking invitations I should accept and which to decline. That adjustment made a huge difference in my life. Having a trusted assistant manage my schedule helped me enforce boundaries. I regained balance. I had free weekends again. And I never missed another wedding!
My good friend Dr. Russell Summay was really good at saying no, and he would do so without apology or excuse. He was a colorful character and would do almost anything for anyone. But he was his own man and wasn’t much concerned with what people thought of him. Somehow that spirit of independence made him even more likable.
I once phoned Russ and said, “Doc, I’m going to Indianapolis tomorrow evening to speak to an area rally. Would you like to go along?”
He simply said, “No.”
There was an awkward pause for a moment, and then I thanked him and said, “Okay. Maybe some other time.”
When I hung up the phone, I smiled to myself and thought, “I wish I could be more like that!” He didn’t feel the need to explain with excuses like, “I have a patient to check on” or “I need to reorganize my sock drawer.” He simply, immediately said, “No.” That was sufficient, and he and I remained great friends.
Effective service requires wisdom—not just in saying yes, but in learning when and how to say no. Sometimes, the most gracious response is a simple, unapologetic no. And just as important, we must learn to receive “no” from others without hurt feelings or responding in frustration or manipulation.
It’s a liberating day when you seek first the kingdom of God instead of the approval of people. But let’s be honest—it’s a daily battle.
Bob Russell is Retrired Senior Minister of Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY.