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7 Things Not to Say to the Grieving

by Steve Higginbotham

By Steve Higginbotham

    StevePhone-e1312971363115  My family and I just recently suffered the loss of my dad.  During the days following his death, we were comforted by all the kind words that were spoken in an effort to encourage us.  But not everyone has the same experience.  I’ve stood at the head of many caskets through the years and I’ve heard many comments made to grieving families that made me cringe.  Like Job’s friends, they would have served as better comforters if they would have just remained silent.
This post is designed to simply offer some suggestions that may allow us to comfort the grieving, rather than adding unnecessary pain to their grief.  Below are 7 things not to say to those who are grieving.

Please do your best to avoid these empty and potentially hurtful comments.  If you struggle for words to say, then may I suggest the following.

Your words aren’t going to “fix” anything, so don’t try.  They should simply be spoken to express your love and concern.  May we learn to comfort others the way that God comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

-Steve Higginbotham preaches for the Karns Church of Christ near Knoxville, TN. This  article via “Preaching Helps”




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That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:10